Wednesday January 23,2013
I haven't always been over weight. When I was 20 I weighed 120. It wasn't until my thirties that I started gaining weight. But in the last 7 years my weight has gone up up up. Now here I am at 48 and I am double the size I used to be. I will be honest I am miserable with myself. I don't "shop" for clothes any more. Basically I just buy whatever I think will hide my body. When I look at myself it doesn't matter what I have on because honestly all I see is a beached whale. I have given up on buying nice clothes because I just feel shame when I look at myself.
I really want to run away from this and stick my head in the sand. It would be so much easier than facing the fact that I have done this to myself. It would be so much easier than trying to figure out how to make the changes I need to make.
But I have found that reading weight loss success stories is helping me change the way I think. It's not that I find them all particularly motivating. However, what they do offer is something that I don't always have and that is HOPE. They give me hope that I can lose 60 pounds and find the person I have buried under all of this fat.
So for today my plan is simple. Just start the journey by following that glimmer of hope.